@ 2008-06-07 – 12:14:20
A lonely female crab was walking down the beach one evening when she noticed a male crab coming towards her—but he was walking straight and not sideways!
Impressed by his talent, she decided to marry him immediately.
The next morning she noticed him walking sideways like any ordinary crab! She asked, "What happened? Yesterday you were able to walk straight!"
He answered "What?! I can't get that drunk every day!" 
@ 2008-06-07 – 09:10:52
A tandem rider is stopped by a police car.
"What've I done, officer?" asks the rider.
"Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back . . ."
"Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!"
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